Rules Of Dating

MSTP > # 3 Rules Of Dating      

The Basic Rules of Dating: The Time Line

This guide on dating gives you a detailed day by day of what to expect on each date.  Because you are in a hurry to start a family following the expert’s advice can save you a lot of time and increase your chances of success.

By Talane Miedaner Updated: March 04, 2015

     The Two-Date Rule

This may seem counterintuitive in a chapter about finding
the right person as quickly as possible, but it’s important not to rush from one
relationship to the next to the extent that you miss out on some good
opportunities.  Give your dates a fair
chance of two full dates if not three.  The first
date is the worst
date in terms of assessing whether someone is going to be a suitable match for
you.  Most people are too nervous on a
first date or are trying too hard to impress to relax enough to be themselves.

For this reason alone, you should always give your date at
least one more chance.  Sometimes our
first impressions are quite right and sometimes they aren’t.  By the second date, you’ll both be more
relaxed and in a much better position to determine whether the person is worthy
of seeing again or not.

We’ve seen too many Hollywood movies and now expect to be
bowled over with passion and excitement on the very first date.  Sometimes this happens and love bursts like
fireworks, but sometimes it is a long, slow burn.

One client, a forty-something, vivacious brunette, had a
history of going out with really drop-dead gorgeous men.  When
she and her boyfriend walked down the street, people turned their heads to look
at him, not
her.  Although this man was very
attractive, he wasn’t really her soul mate, and she knew it was time to end the
relationship and start looking for her true love.  She signed up
for Internet dating and started perusing the eligible men.  One fellow seemed very interesting, but she
almost deleted his profile because he wasn’t particularly gorgeous.

He looked rather average.
He wasn’t unattractive,
but his hair was thinning a bit.  I
encouraged her to get past the look sand give the man a chance.  They met and she discovered that, in person,
he had real charisma and was much more attractive than his photo led one to
believe.  Yes, his hair wasn’t much to speak of, but
his eyes were a stunning brilliant blue and captivated her completely.  She still wasn’t sure, though, because she was convinced that she had to
have a really good-looking man in order to feel sexually attracted to him.  I
urged to her to see him again, and sure enough, he started to grow on her.  He was so thoughtful and considerate and
charming, he became more attractive in her eyes and his real personality shined
through.  By the third date she wasn’t even worried about his
looks and was smitten.  They continued
going out and are now happily married.
She thanks me for encouraging her to look beyond her mental pictures and
give him a chance.

     The Eight-Date
Rule

To many, this tip will sound old-fashioned.  It was advice my mother gave me when I
started
dating in high school (she doesn’t even remember this,
but I do!).
Her sage wisdom was to wait to have sex until at least eight dates to ensure that the man you were
with was worth the trouble and to make sure you weren’t being swept away by the stars on a particularly romantic
evening.  Like it or not, it is the woman’s
job to hold back and give the relationship time to develop.  Studies have proven that most men, if given
the opportunity, will jump in the sack with just about anybody at just about
any time.

I want to emphasize that this isn’t about being
manipulative or coy, but rather about giving a relationship enough time that
you can assess whether the man or woman you are with fulfills your top ten
requirements, and it also allows time for intimacy to develop.  You simply can’t rush intimacy.  And,
as a side benefit, in this world of instant gratification, it is refreshing to
have to wait for something you want.  It
intensifies desire and makes gratification all that much more exciting and
fulfilling.

Don’t deprive yourself or
your partner of this lovely, heady anticipation.

You risk too much by having sex too soon.  You could
be rushing intimacy that your partner isn’t quite ready for.  You
could be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you fall for this person and he
or she hasn’t fallen for you
yet.  You could be putting too many
expectations on your partner for intimacy.

For your own self-respect, it is a good policy to ensure
that before you agree to have sex with someone, he or she is willing to be exclusive and not date other
people.  This will weed out those who are
just looking for a good time or an easy sexual conquest.

There’s nothing wrong with looking for a good time, mind
you, but if you are looking for a committed relationship, then you don’t want to waste time
with those who are still playing the field.
If they aren’t ready or willing to commit to being exclusive, then under no circumstances should
you sleep with them until they are commited.
Dating is challenging enough without adding the complexities of sex to the equation.  And men can’t help but think that if you jump into bed right away with
them, then you are doing the same with every other Tom, Dick, and Harry.  You may have been waiting for “the one,” but
your partner won’t believe you if you say that you don’t usually act so quickly
and you were only making a special exception for him.

Some women worry that they’ll lose the man if they don’t have sex fairly soon.  They feel they have to have sex to create the bond and
keep him interested.  Wrong!  If you lose a man because he won’t wait eight or more dates,
then you never had him in the first place.

The
Six-Month Rule

This rule is especially for women wanting to have children.  It is very easy to hang out in a comfortable,
fun relationship with a good man for a number of years.  Before you realize it, a few years can pass
and while there may not be anything wrong with the relationship, it might not be right enough for
marriage.  Refer back
to your list of criteria every six months and see whether a “Must Not Have” has appeared
that you weren’t
aware of.  Perhaps you’ve simply realized
this isn’t the one.  After six months, you should have had enough
time to get a fairly good grasp of whether you want to marry your mate or not.  If you can’t see future potential with them, then break up and start
the dating process over again.

On the other hand, if you think the relationship is growing
and developing and has real potential, then you may want to give it more
time.  Mark your calendar six months
forward and make a date with yourself to reassess them at that time.  You need to write it down because otherwise
years could pass before you take a stock good look at them.  And you may not have the time to spare.

       The Two-Year Rule

Again, this tip is especially for those women who want
children.  After two years, you certainly
have had enough time to know whether or not this person is marriage material, and at this point, you
need to either move toward future commitment such as engagement or move back to
step one and start the dating process again.
If you discuss getting married and your mate still isn’t ready, then you need
to break up and start fresh.

Sometimes, you will find that this will shake up your
partner enough to realize he or she doesn’t want to risk losing you and will declare his or her
intentions.  Again, this isn’t about rushing — after
all, two years is plenty of time for both of you to get to know each other by
now.

However, two years is also a point of diminishing returns
in that more time spent together isn’t likely to reveal much more you haven’t already learned.  So, it is time for a real commitment or time
for you to realize your partner won’t commit and you need to move on.  Far better to learn that this person won’t commit now than it is
to wait another two years.  By that time,
you could have recovered from your heartbreak and be happily ensconced with
someone who doesn’t have “commitment issues.”
When people say they aren’t ready to commit, that typically means they think they
might find someone “better” and are stalling for time.  It might also mean your partner isn’t sufficiently
established in his or her career (especially
with men and some women) to feel like he or
she can provide for a family.  Or it
could simply be that your mate thinks he or she should feel some overwhelming
urge or desire to get married and doesn’t because he or she is happy and perfectly comfortable with
things just as they are.  Most men don’t have any big urge to
get married and they don’t have a biological clock that is ticking away creating a
sense of urgency.  For this reason, it
makes sense to stick to the two-year rule.

      Concluding
Thoughts

You have now completed a very challenging and life changing
coaching program.  You have identified
and fulfilled your top four needs, you’ve expanded your boundaries and raised
your personal standards, and you’ve found that you now effortlessly attract
much better people and opportunities into your life.  You’ve discovered what your core values or
passions in life are and have restructured your life so that you are living and
expressing these values on a daily basis.
You love what you do, and you love your life.  You are irresistibly attractive and are in
great shape to attract the love of your life effortlessly.

Is there a down side to being so irresistible?  Yes, you might find that you need to upgrade
your friends.  There is often a bit of
fallout.  One client never realized that
she was a chronic complainer until she started working on her life.  Once she eliminated all the things she had
been complaining about, got her unmet needs fulfilled and was no longer needy in any
way, and started doing work she was passionate about, she stopped
complaining.  After all, there isn’t much to complain about
in a great life.  She soon realized that
her friends were still complaining and that their relationships had been based
on mutual gripe and complain sessions.
You can gently inform your friends, “Let’s do ten minutes of complaining
and then move on to the things we are happy about.”  Or you might find that you upgrade your
relationships in general.  Do give people
a chance, though, by using the four-step communication model you learned back in
Chapter 5.  Remember, you were where they are not that long ago.

Other people find that they are suddenly attracting a lot
of really great people and opportunities, and sometimes that gets a bit scary
or even overwhelming.

Our own natural power is often more than we realize, and
that can be daunting.  You will very
quickly need to learn to say no to what you don’t want.

One forty-two-year-old singleton never expected to attract
more than 150 matches on eharmony.com and she was worried about how she would find the time to
respond to them all.  (I told her to ruthlessly weed some of them out.)

One of them she is very excited about, as he ticks off all
the right top ten on her list.  You’ll
tend to attract people who are just a step ahead or a step behind you, so if
you’ve attracted them, then good for you!
You can trust that the law of attraction really works and in the vast
majority of cases, like really does attract like.  It isn’t a mistake.  If you don’t believe you deserve
it, you might right then sabotage the opportunity.  Get over the notion that you need to deserve
something to have it.  Trust that if you
have attracted a great person or a fabulous opportunity, then that is because
you are great and fabulous too!  And,
everything happens when you are ready, so even if you don’t feel like you are
ready, if you attracted it, you are.

Finally, it is never too late.  A client in her early forties found her
husband while traveling for two weeks in Italy and brought him back to
Manhattan.  Another client had healthy
twin girls at the age of fifty-five (although
I don’t advocate waiting that
long if you can help it).  And I didn’t meet my husband until I was thirty-seven and was giving a
seminar in London.  I had my first girl
at thirty-nine and the second at forty-one.
So, get out there and enjoy your newfound powers of attraction!

      Relationship Rules

Tips on how to build a healthy love life with your spouse.

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be
loved.  Yet people have much trouble
doing so.

It’s clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks
have no
idea what a healthy relationship even looks like.  Because I care about these things, and care
about the environment’s children grow in, I’m using this space as an attempt to
remedy the problem — again.

From many sources and many experts, I have culled some
basic rules of
relationships.  This is by no means an exhaustive
list.  But it’s a start.  Print them out and pin them up on your
refrigerator door.  I won’t test you on them —
but life will.

  • Choose a partner
    wisely and well.  We are attracted
    to people for all kinds of reasons.
    They remind us of someone from our past.  They shower us with gifts and make us
    feel important.  Evaluate a
    potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character,
    personality,
    values, their
    generosity of
    spirit, the relationship
    between their words and actions, their relationships with others.
  • Know your partner’s
    beliefs about relationships.
    Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about
    relationships.  You
    dont
    want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in
    relationships; they’ll create it where it
    doesnt exist.
  • Dont confuse sex (May click on sex) with
    love.  Especially in the beginning
    of a relationship,
    attraction and
    pleasure in
    sex
    are often mistaken for love.
  • Know your needs and
    speak up for them clearly.  A
    relationship is
    not
    a guessing game.  Many people, men
    as well as women,
    fear stating
    their needs and, as a result, camouflage them.  The result is disappointment at
    not getting what they want and anger
    at a partner for
    not
    having met their (
    unstated)
    needs.  Closeness
    cannot occur without honesty.  Your partner is not a mind reader.
  • Respect, respect,
    respect.  Inside and outside the
    relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect
    for you.  Mutual respect is
    essential to a good relationship.
  • View yourselves as a
    team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different
    perspectives and strengths.  That is
    the value of a team — your differences.
  • Know how to manage
    differences; it’s the key to success in a relationship.  Disagreements
    dont
    sink relationships.  Name – calling
    does.  Learn how to handle the
    negative feelings that are the unavoidable
    byproduct of the differences between two people.  Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is
    NOT managing them.
  • If you dont understand
    or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is
    doing it.  Talk, take some time and
    explore,
    dont assume.
  • Solve problems as they
    arise. 
    Dont
    let resentments simmer.  Most of
    what goes
    wrong
    in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect
    defenses against one another and to become strangers.  Or
    enemies.
  • Learn to
    negotiate.  Modern relationships
    no longer rely on roles cast by the
    culture.  Couples create their own
    roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation.  It works best when good will prevails.  Because people’s needs are fluid and
    change over time, and life’s demands change too, good relationships are
    negotiated and renegotiated all the time.
  • Listen, truly listen, to your partner’s concerns
    and complaints without judgment.
    Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for
    solving problems.  Plus, it opens
    the door to confiding.  And
    empathy is
    crucial.  Look at things from your
    partner’s perspective as well as your own.
  • Work hard at
    maintaining closeness.  Closeness
    doesnt happen
    by itself.  In its absence, people
    drift apart and are susceptible to affairs.  A good relationship
    isnt an
    end goal; it’s a lifelong process maintained through regular
    attention.
  • Take a long-range
    view.  A
    marriage is
    an agreement to spend a future together.
    Check out your
    dreams with
    each other regularly to make sure you’re both on the same path.  Update your dreams regularly.
  • Never underestimate
    the power of good grooming.
  • Sex is
    good.  Pillow talk is better. 
    Sex
    is easy, intimacy is difficult.  It
    requires honesty,
    openness,
    self-disclosure, confiding concerns,
    fears,
    sadnesses as well as hopes and
    dreams.

  • Never go to sleep angry.  Try a little tenderness.
  • Apologize,
    apologize, apologize.  Anyone can
    make a mistake.  Repair attempts are
    crucial — highly predictive of marital
    happiness.  They can be clumsy or funny, even
    sarcastic — but willingness to make up after an argument is central to
    every happy marriage.
  • Some dependency is
    good, but complete dependency on a partner for all one’s needs is an
    invitation to unhappiness for both partners.  We’re all dependent to a degree — on
    friends,
    mentors, spouses.  This is true
    of men as well as women.
  • Maintain self-respect
    and
    self-esteem.  It’s easier for someone to like you and
    to be around you when you like yourself.
    Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more
    sources of self-esteem they have.
    Meaningful work — paid or volunteer — has long been one of the most
    important ways to exercise and fortify a sense of self.
  • Enrich your
    relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the
    relationship.  The more passions in
    life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be.  It is unrealistic to expect one person
    to meet all of your needs in life.
  • Cooperate,
    cooperate, cooperate.  Share
    responsibilities.  Relationships
    work ONLY when they are two-way streets, with much give and take.
  • Stay open to
    spontaneity.
  • Maintain your
    energy.  Stay healthy.
  • Recognize that all
    relationships have their ups and downs and do
    not ride at a continuous high all the
    time.  Working together through the
    hard times will make the relationship stronger.
  • Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a
    reflection of your beliefs about yourself.
    Dont just run away from a bad relationship; you’ll only repeat it
    with the next partner.  Use it as a
    mirror to look at yourself, to understand what in you is creating this
    relationship.  Change yourself before
    you change your relationship.
  • Understand that love
    is
    not an
    absolute,
    not
    a limited commodity that you’re in of or out of.  It’s a feeling that ebbs and flows
    depending on how you treat each other.
    If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing
    back, often stronger than before.

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The Golden Rule in
Christian Dating

Have you ever tried to
list out all the different dating advice you’ve heard, even just the advice
from other real true friends or your true Christians friends?

  • Date
    for at least a year.

  • Dont date
    for any more than a year.

  • Date
    exclusively in groups.

  • Make
    sure you get plenty of time one on one.

  • Dont even
    kiss before you’re married.  “
    What?”  Well
    you want this one to last
    , Right?

  • How
    can you know you have chemistry without kissing?

  • Put
    clear boundaries into place.

  • Dont try
    to follow everyone else’s rules.

  • Spend
    lots of time together.

  • Be
    careful how much time you spend together.
  • Date a
    bunch of people before getting serious.

  • Dont date
    anyone until you’re ready to marry them.

I could go on, and if
you’re a part of almost any kind of Christian community, you probably can
too.  Even though we’re following Jesus,
and reading the same Bible, and aiming for the covenant of marriage, our dating
advice can be surprisingly wide and diverse.
One Lord, one faith, one baptism — and a billion different dating tips.

     The First Rule in Dating

The first rule in dating is the first rule in all of
life: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your
soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (
Mark 12:30).  You will not truly love anyone else if you do not love God first and most.
And no one will truly love you if they do not
truly love God more than they love you.

The first step in dating should always be the step of
faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus.  HE captures our
heart; we find our deepest joy in HIM.
We hide our
soul in HIM and stop trying to save or prove
ourselves.  We devote our
minds to knowing HIM more and more and plead with HIM to conform our mind and
will to HIS.  We put all our
strength into HIS goal and plan for our life: to make disciples who love HIM with
all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

If our heart is not
there — if our soul is not
already safe through
faith, if our mind is distracted and focused on other, lesser things, if our
best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports,
shopping, entertainment, relationships, and
not on God — we simply will not date well.

Do you want to date and marry, well?  Listen to Jesus, and “love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all
your strength.”  Seek HIM first (
Matthew 6:33), and dating will be added according to his perfect plan and timing.

The Golden Rule in Dating

But after embracing and applying the first and greatest
commandment, I have found that the
golden rule in dating is this:

Lean hard on the people who know you best, love you most, and will
tell you when you’re
wrong.

It’s not the first
rule, because in absolutely every area of life — every decision, every calling,
every relationship, every dream — we must start with what we think and feel
about
God.  Do we love HIM more than
anything?  Will we obey HIM, even when it
will cost us?  Are we willing to set
anything aside for HIS sake?  Will we
trust HIM, even when we want something else for ourselves?

It’s not the first rule, but I have found that it is a “golden
rule” that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy
Christian dating relationships.  If
you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to
date — you don’t
have a chance of having a truly healthy
Christian relationship with someone else.

If you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to
date — you don’t
have a chance of having a truly healthy
Christian relationship with someone else.
Okay, then what would I have?

You will have a satan led relationship.
Both God’s Angels and satan’s
angels, his demons, keep a record on you, well really, they do on each of us.  Keep a record
on everything that comes out of your mouth, yes, put down every word.  Keep a record on your every action.

Yes, satan and his demons will do
everything they can do to get you two together in sex, before your marriage and then they will do everything they can do to get you two together in sex
with someone else.  Yes, with
others.  Just to split you up.  Think about that fact.

But even if you are a
Christian, there are still a thousand more ways to subtly or blatantly reject
God’s wisdom and fall into sin.

The key will be to
lean on other Christians who know you best, love you most, and have a proven
record of telling you when you are making a mistake or wandering away from
God’s will for you.

The Third Wheel We All
Need

Today
more than ever before, we’re faced with a never-ending buffet of opinions and
advice, both good and bad, that has
something to say about everything and yet lets us choose the answer we want.  If you don’t know – YOU
should know this about YOU.

  • How far should we go
    physically before marriage?

  • How soon should I start
    dating after a breakup?

  • What things should I be
    looking for in a guy?  Or gal?

  • What are girls looking
    for in a guy?

  • Should couples live together
    before getting married?

We won’t have trouble finding an answer (or a dozen answers) to any of our questions in
relationships.  The scary reality is that
we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise.

The advice we choose
might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at
church, or view a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on
Pinterest.

For many of us, if
we’re honest, it really doesn’t
matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or
wanted in the first place.

We think we’re leaning
on others as we wade into all the material online, but we’re often just
surrendering to our own cravings and ignorance.
We leave the safety of the doctor’s office and choose the freedom and
ease of the gas station convenience store.
Instead of getting the qualified perspective and direction we
desperately need from people around us, we walk away eating a candy bar for
dinner, again, and washing it down with Dr. Pepper.

Real friendship, with real life-on-life accountability,
may not offer the same amount of
information or advice, and you will not
always like what it has to say, but it will bring one new critical dimension to
your dating relationships: it knows
you — your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures, your
unique needs.  These people know you as a
sinner, and sinners who are never being confronted or frustrated by inconvenient truths are sinners drifting
further from God, not towards him.

The truth is that we all need a third wheel — in life and in
dating — people who truly
know us and love us,
and who want what’s best for us, even when it’s not
what we want in the moment.

                                                The Voices We Need Most        KKKK

Dating often isolates
us from other Christians in our lives.
The closer we become with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the more removed we
are from other important relationships.  Satan loves this and encourages it at every turn.  One way to walk wisely in dating is to oppose
absolutely everything satan
might want for
you.  Fight the impulse to date in a
corner by yourselves, and instead draw one another into those important
relationships.  Double down on family and
friends — with affection, intentionality, and communication — while you’re
dating.

The people willing to
actually hold me accountable in dating have been my best friends.  I’ve had lots of friends over the years, but
the ones who have been willing to press in, ask harder questions, and
offer unwanted (but
wise) counsel are the
friends I respect and prize the most.

They stepped in when I
was spending too much time with a girlfriend or started neglecting other
important areas of my life.  They raised
a flag when a relationship seemed unhealthy.
They knew where I had fallen before in sexual purity, and they weren’t
afraid to ask questions to protect me.  They have relentlessly pointed me to Jesus,
even when they knew it might upset me — reminding me not to put my hope in any relationship, to pursue patience
and purity, and to communicate and lead well.

These guys didn’t guard me from every mistake or
failure — no one can — but they played a massive
role in helping me mature as a man, a boyfriend, and now as a husband.  And I wish I would have listened to them more
in dating.

Joyful, Courageous
Accountability

My golden rule in dating is a warm, but unpopular
invitation to
accountability — to truly and consistently bear each other’s
burdens in the pursuit of marriage (
Galatians 6:2).  Maybe that term — accountability — has dried out and gone stale in your life.  But to be accountable is to be authentically,
deeply, consistently known by someone who cares enough to keep us from making
mistakes or indulging in sin.

Only people who love
Christ more than they love you will have the courage to tell you that you’re wrong in dating — wrong about a
person, wrong about timing, wrong about whatever.
Only they will be willing to say something hard, even when you’re so
happily infatuated.  Most people will
float along with you because they’re excited for you, but you need a lot more
than excitement right now — you have plenty of that yourself.  You desperately need truth, wisdom, correction, and perspective.

The Bible warns us to
weave all our desires, needs, and decisions deep into a fabric of family who
love us and will help us follow Jesus — a family God builds for each of us
in a local church (Hebrews 10:24–25).

God has sent you — your faith, your gifts, and your
experience — into other believers’ lives for their good.  To encourage them: “We urge you, brothers,
admonish the idle,
encourage
the fainthearted
, help the weak, be patient with
them all” (
1 Thessalonians 5:14).  To challenge and correct them:
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one
another in all wisdom” (
Colossians 3:16).  And to build them up: “Therefore
encourage one another and build one another up” (
1 Thessalonians 5:11).

And as inconvenient, unnecessary, unhelpful, and even
unpleasant as it may feel at times, God has sent gifted, experienced,
Christ-loving men and women into your life too, for
your good — and for the good of your boyfriend or girlfriend (and God willing, your future spouse).
The God who sends these kinds of friends and family into our lives knows
what we need far better than we ever will.

We all need
courageous, persistent, and hopeful friends and counselors in the dangerous and murky waters of dating.  Lean hard on the people who know you best, love
you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong.

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And people wonder “WHY”
crap lands on them.  “WHY” so many things
go wrong for them.  So many times, I have heard, “I don’t deserve this crap falling on me!”  Correct, they only do if they have not asked God for each last generational sin curse to be forgiven.

I was an Air Force Aircraft
Elect. Repair training Instructor and later an Instructor in that Air Force
Aircraft course and I had many men and women in class and under my
leadership.  Out of over 8,000 young men
and a few women of my many years talking with and to and in counseling I had
one man and two women tell me they did ask God to take this four generations of
sin on them as their curse off.

For them to be free from
this past family curse.  If you are single (meaning
not
joined to anyone through sex) you
only have eight people’s generations of sin
down on you.  That is eight form your bio
father and your bio mother.

OoPpSs,
that is your parents plus going back for three (for
four) more sets of parents (meaning only
those not
joined to any other person through any sex, if they are or have – then these have to be added in also)
which if you family tree line back and out is a lot of people with a lot of unforgiven
sin.
I hope you are getting the idea and it is twice that many if you are
married or are even more if joined to someone or any others through any sexual activity, if so, those go on to be many add up to even a lot
more.  OoPpSs.  I don’t even know their names?  Well, yes, but those names are still in two
books, the one is in books God’s Angels record book on YOU for YOUR judgement
and are along with these other people but are also really in satan’s record book, satan’s “Hell on earth” record book, on YOU, for his bad boys to get YOU with their
torment, all night and day.  These
can be gotten rid of through prayer.  If
you don’t
know how you may contact us.

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First Dating RelationshipsRules 2 Marriage

10 Rules For
Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship

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By Sonya Rhodes, PhD and Susan
Schneider, coauthors of “The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match: How Strong Women Can
Find Love and Happiness Without Settling.”

In some ways, online dating and social media have leveled the
playing field: Women can take charge of their dating and
sex lives in ways they havent before.  We can initiate dates or group hangouts just
as easily as men do.  The dating world
revolves around making the right proactive choices — and this means that if
you’re ready for a monogamous relationship, you have to be clear about your
goals, both to yourself and prospective partners.

Consider this advice:

1. Finding a partner is a project and requires
time and energy
.  If what you want is a long-term relationship,
approach it with your written-out goals in mind.  The right mindset is key: Start out by
knowing that you are in control of this process.

2. If you’re looking online, do your profile
with a friend — this will help you lighten up.
Dont boast or be self-deprecating.
Be funny, short and concise, and
dont sound too cutesy.  A photo
that shows you actively pursuing an interest is good because it offers
information without being wordy.

3. Scan profiles selectively.  Pick out three or four
guys and signal your interest.  When you
contact someone, refer to a remark he/she made in their profile.  If someone shows an interest in your profile,
remember that you are not obligated to respond unless you want to.  You be the judge.

4. With several prospects, start an email
exchange.
  But limit your emails to no more than two or three
before suggesting a face-to-face meeting.
Anyone who wants to prolong emailing is
not interested in a relationship.
He/she likes the anonymity of email flirting.  Avoid this person — he or she could be
married, in another relationship or just be a creep.

4. Arrange a coffee or drink at a convenient and
public location.
 Talk about things you like to do, your job,
college, old stories or recent experiences.
(
Be on time — showing up is
at least
50% of success!)

5. Pay attention to whether there is a good
balance in the conversation.
  Does he dominate?  Do you?
Are you finding common interests?
Avoid talking about your or his problems.  Do
not give advice even if he is begging for it; this is a bad way to start.  Stay upbeat.

6. On first dates, make sure you have other
plans afterward and keep them, regardless of how things are going.
  If you’re underwhelmed
with this person, you will have a good escape route.  If you are having a great time and
dont want to leave, stick to your
previous plan anyway.  If you are
interested, say so explicitly upon leaving.
(
This may sound too forward,
but there is nothing
wrong about being clear.)

7. Offer to split the check.  Nowadays, single, college –
educated women under the age of 30 are often making more money than men, so
dont stand on ceremony waiting
for him to pay.

8. Wait to see if he initiates an email or text.  If he doesnt, cross him off your list.  He’s not interested or is not freely available.  Start
over.

9. If he emails or texts (or makes the extra effort
to make a phone call
!), respond, but move along and suggest meeting again.  This should be a real date
with a fixed time and place.  If he wants
to keep it spontaneous, with something like “Let’s try for Tuesday,”
dont bother putting it on your
calendar.  It’s just
not likely to happen.

10. After you’ve met, beware of texts that
arrive at odd times and are friendly but unaccompanied by a suggestion of a
date.
 These are
false positives because they suggest more
intimacy than is real. 
Dont be taken in.  Most likely, he’s bored and is just playing
with his phone.  Respond only if you have
seen him in person within the last week.

Postscript: If you start seeing someone on a fairly regular basis (at least once a week), realize that
you are only beginning a relationship.
Go slowly.  Get to know him/her.  See whether he or she is consistent, reliable
and respectful.  If you are sleeping
exclusively with him and are beginning to take him seriously, consider
discussing whether he is interested in having a monogamous relationship.  If he balks, start over!  Really.
The two of you
dont share the same goals.

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         25 Things Every Marriage Needs

                             If you want to stay together forever, that
is.  Then use:

1.- A Special Place
= > It can be a favorite restaurant or the
corner café where you always go for coffee.
It can be a local park or far-off vacation spot.  The “where” doesn’t matter as long as you
have someplace memories are made together.

2. – Good Manners = > “Please”
and “thank you” shouldn’t be something you just teach your kids or say to
strangers.  If anything, nice manners
count all the more when you’re married.
Say “please” and “thank you” for everything: For
making the bed.  For passing the
butter.  For picking up after the
dog.  Being gracious and grateful for the
mundane matters.

3. – Knowing When to Say “When” = > When you’re
falling in love, you probably labor under the delusion that you’ll always agree
on everything.  Not so much after
marriage.  As you learn what topics
you’ll never agree on, politely agree to disagree.  It serves no
one to keep beating up the same old themes.

4. – A Firm Belief in “‘Til’ Death Do Us Part” = > The tough parts
always come.  But they also pass.

5. – Letting the Other Person Have the Last Bite = > Okay, maybe not every time!  But sometimes you can sacrifice the last
piece of pie or the last bagel.

6. – Dressing Up for Each Other =
> In our casual society, it’s acceptable to
wear jeans and sweatpants almost anywhere.
But it’s also nice to put on your fancy clothes once in a while to show
you made the extra effort (like you did when
you were dating, right?!).

7. – Spending Time with Another Couple You Both Like = > It reinforces your
two’s own bond.

8. – Knowing When to
Say, “I’m
Sorry” and When to Say “I Forgive You” = > Which is over and over and over.  Living with someone is messy, and we’re all
imperfect.  Get over your pride and know
when to let it go.  Perpetual pouting and
grudge-holding don’t build up a marriage.

9. – Shared Values = > Opposites may
attract, but it can be tricky to manage opposing beliefs in the long run.  Similar views on the world, faith, and life in
general are what keep you both working toward common needs and goals.

10. – Special Traditions = > Sunday afternoon walks.
Exchanging Valentines.  Watching a
favorite holiday movie together.  Shared
rituals keep you close and highlight what’s unique about you as a couple.

11. – Love Notes = > A lipstick kiss on the
mirror.  A scrap of paper tucked in the
other person’s bag.  A scribble on the
edge of the grocery list.  Your notes can be naughty or
nice, but it’s sweet to find a note that says “I love you” where you least expect
it.

12. – Respect = > Aretha got it right.
Talking down to the other person, belittling them, and mean-spirited teasing aren’t what makes a marriage
work in the long run.

13. – Making a Big Deal out of Anniversaries = > Whether it’s
acknowledging your first date or your twentieth anniversary, make an
effort.  A card, a dinner out, a
breakfast date — whatever you can do to honor the day the two of you became a
couple.

14. – A Framed Photo = > Your wedding photo does not count.  Print it,
frame it, and display it.

15. – Kissing “Hello” and “Goodbye” = > Don’t let being in a hurry
steal these tokens of your affection.
Greet each other every single time you leave the house; you never know
what can happen when you’re apart.  Then
rejoice in the reunion when the other one comes home.

16. – Complimenting the Other Person in Public = > Let your spouse hear you say
something good about him or her to someone else.  It’s sort of a thrill to hear yourself
bragged on, and who doesn’t need an occasional pat on the back?

17. – Random Acts of Humor = > My gram always said it’s better to laugh than to cry.  If you can look at the ridiculousness of the
moment instead of freaking out every time something goes awry (whether it’s lost luggage, a flooded basements or clogged sinks!),
you’ll be a lot less likely to give up on each other.

18. – Time Alone = > Know
when to take a break and visit with friends or nurture your own interests.  Because, yeah, sometimes we all do get on
each other’s nerves.  Absence can make
the heart grow fonder and reset the ticker on your patience.

19. – Unplugged Time = > It’s
not the
most uplifting experience to try to talk to you partner when he’s surfing the
web or texting.  Establish a tech-free
zone (or time out) when you interact with each other and do real things in
the real world: Go watch a sunset.
Listen to the birds sing.  Take a
walk.  Do anything together but stare at
your phones.

20. – Letting the Other Person Pick = > Not all the time.  But
occasionally let the other person choose an activity or movie, even if it’s one
you don’t particularly enjoy.

21. – Your Own Private Language and
Jokes = > It’s a top-secret code only two people in the whole world
know!

22. – New Adventures = > There’s comfort in the familiar, but there’s a sense of
excitement in finding new hobbies and activities to share.  Take a day trip to place you’ve never
visited.  Sign up for salsa making lessons.  Sign up for make your own Pizza.  Try a restaurant on the other side of town.

23. – “Remember
When?” Sessions =
> Reliving good memories will make you
laugh, kindle feelings of contentment that you’ve come this far, and remind you
why you like each other in the first place.

24. – Kindness = > It’s human nature to want to strike back when the other
person is being ugly to you.  But it’s
okay to be kind instead of being right.
Of course, you won’t always be able to take the high ground (hello to my hot-headed temper!), but it feels
pretty good when you do.  And it often
diffuses the situation.

25. – Celebrating little victories = > A good annual
physical.  A presentation that went
well.  The fact that it’s finally
Friday.  We often ignore the moments of
small but real joy that make up our lives each week.  But they are what matters.  Go out and regularly celebrate the life
you’ve made together.

From:
https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/g3214/25-things-every-marriage-needs/?slide=1

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25 Ways to Fix a Sexless Marriage

We really are working up
to Marriage
Second Plus Time for you.

This is actually great advice for anyone who’s in a
relationship.

Even happily
married guys wonder what sorts of itches they’d be scratching if they were to
ditch their partner.  Their “newly
single” fantasy might include long, naked weekends with a Hooters waitress, but
the reality is not nearly as provocative.

As a divorced man, you are 39
percent more likely to commit suicide.  Even if you don’t kill yourself, you will die younger.  People in Russia rally don’t live longer – it just
seems that way – well – to them.  And
forget chasing woman’s tail; your mobility also suffers from singlehood.

Oh, and yes,
really divorce
crushes your finances: A study of divorced baby boomers found that a split slashed their wealth to
less than a quarter of what they would have had if they’d never wed at all.

So, we’ve
collected 25 tips that can protect you from the sickly, cash-poor, single
life.  Save your marriage before it’s too
late!

(To see how much work your relationship really needs, check out How Strong Is
Your Marriage
?
).

1.
Assume the Best Explanation for What She Did, Not the Worst
= > Think of an annoying thing she does that you regularly
misinterpret.  Psychologists call this a
“maladaptive attribution.”  Then stop it.  You can improve your marriage simply by
thinking about it differently; choose the kindest possible interpretation for
her actions instead of the ugliest.

2. Take
the Zero-Negativity Challenge
= > How many days this month can you go without doing or saying
a single negative,
hurtful thing to your partner?

Give it a try, suggest Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen
LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., who’ve written 10 books on relationships.

You can strike sarcasm off the list too.  In the words of Terry Real, the author of “The New Rules of Marriage”: “Sarcasm eats
intimacy.”  Each one of our words
matter.  Measure them.

3.  A Foot Massage Works Wonders; A Head Massage
Works Miracles
= > Related: How to Pleasure
a Woman — the complete guide to becoming a master lover
!

4. Don’t Make a Complaint.  = > Make a Request Instead (Politely!).

5. Write
Her/Him a Letter — On Paper
= > A University of Denver study of soldiers found that
exchanging letters with their wives had a more positive
and long-lasting effect than texting did.

6.
Watch This
Sex Video = > “Makeup sexdoesnt solve a fight, and latent
anger can be really a
lust killer.  Sit down together and
watch family therapist Michele Weiner-Davis’s TEDx talk “
The Sex-Starved Marriage” on YouTube.

Even if you’re not exactly starving, this video can help stoke hunger now and
forever.

Whether you are married or are planning or going to be
married, someday, I recommend you view these next two videos.

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The Sex Starved
Marriage – Part 1 – Michele Weiner-Davis
with Dr. Dave and Christie

Feb 15, 2014 = > The Sex Starved Marriage – Part 1 –
Michele Weiner-Davis with Dr. Dave and Christie See Dr. Dave & North
Americas top experts answer all your marriage and family questions at
http://www.doingfamilyright.com

“I’ve got a
headache.”  Whether you are a man or a
woman, living in a sex-starved marriage can be
devastating.  After awhile, the excuses
begin to ring hollow.  Have you
experienced this unfortunately common problem as a husband or wife?

What
have you tried to alleviate it, and have you had success so far?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oO23w1oSLWE     9 min

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The Sex Starved Marriage –
Part 2 – Michele Weiner- Davis with Dr. Dave
Currie and Christie Rayburn

= > Part
2 – Michele Weiner-Davis with Dr. Dave and Christie See Dr. Dave & North
Americas top experts answer all your marriage and family questions at
http://www.doingfamilyright.com

“I’ve got a headache.”  Whether you are a man or a woman, living in a sex-starved marriage can be devastating.  After awhile, the excuses begin to ring
hollow.  Have you experienced this
unfortunately common problem as a husband or wife?

What have you tried to alleviate it, and
have you had success so far?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH9Xh4fvTlM     7 min

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7. Don’t Try to Fix Her
Problems — Just Listen to Them
= > “Men are conditioned to solve problems and to protect the
women they love,” says couples therapist Shiri Cohen, Ph.D., an instructor at
Harvard Medical School.

“This can backfire when all she really wants is to be only
heard,” she says.  “The next time your
mate needs to vent or complain, just give her your open ears.”

If you think you do have a good solution, wait and bring it
up later during a separate conversation.

8.
Be!!!  Sweat with Her, Then Hop in the
Shower Together Later.  It’s Healthy!
= > For 20 years, Thomas Bradbury,
Ph.D., and Benjamin Karney, Ph.D., of UCLA’s Marriage Lab, followed more than
1,000 couples to evaluate the different ways partners support each other in
their efforts to make important changes in their lives.  Bradbury says he was amazed that the most
common topic — coming up in about seven out of 10 couples — was that they
wanted to change to a healthier lifestyle.

Their book, Love Me Slender, shows couples
how to work together to maintain healthy weights.

A new large-scale British study seconds that: “Men and
women are more likely to make a positive health behavior change if their
partner does too,” the authors note.  Get
started today with the
21-Day
MetaShred
, an at-home
program to strip away fat and reveals rock-hard muscle
.

9. Look
Past Her Flaws (Don’t Try to Eliminate Them)
= > “Look above the things you find annoying or unpleasant,”
says Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., a psychologist based in D.C. “Respond to the best
qualities in her — which will always make her best side stronger.”

10. Tell
the Kids to Shut Up While You Two “Connect”
= > “A measly 15 minutes,” says William Doherty, Ph.D., a
professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota.  These kinds of “connection rituals” hot wire your whole life
together.  So, do it.

11. As
Go Mom and Goo Dad, So Go Their Kids.
The Sooner the Little Monsters Understand That They’re Part Of Your
Life, not Vice
Versa, the Better.

12.  Always Look for Ways to Turn “Me” Into “We” = > Listen up as Monmouth University
psychologist Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., sets you (and her) straight with
this not-so-obvious
fact: “Research shows that people who see themselves as overlapping with their
partner have better relationships.

You begin to
lose track of where one partner begins and the other ends.”  Coach was right: It’s all about the team.

Related: 4 Incredibly
Easy Ways to Be an Awesome Husband
.

13.  Respond to Good News and Bad = > Your wife gets cool new responsibilities
at work.  How do you respond?  Passively (“That’s nice.  What’s for dinner?”),
destructively (“Less time for me, right?”) or — jackpot! — actively and constructively (“Wow, let’s party!”)?

According to UC Santa Barbara psychologist Shelly Gable,
Ph.D., positive responses reassure your wife that you’ll also support her when
the news is good or bad.

14. Go
Out to the Movies.  Then Talk Afterward
= > Ronald Rogge, Ph.D., a professor
at the University of Rochester, followed 174 committed couples for three years.

Some of the couples received traditional marriage
counseling, others received no special attention, and still others were instructed to
watch relationship – focused movies each week and talk afterward.

Watching flicks and getting counseling both cut the breakup
rate by half.

15. Come
Together Only Happens on Abbey Road.
Relax.  Take Turns
= > Related:  6 Tricks for Hotter Monogamy.

16.
Autonomy in a Relationship Is Good
= > Neither of you should feel that you’re being guilted or
coerced into choices about the way you live.
Researchers at the University of Houston found that couples who feel
self-determined instead of trapped are less defensive and more understanding
during fights.

17. Expand Your
Mate’s Idea of You Two . . .
= > In Aruba.  Or Zion
National Park.  Or Quebec City.  Travel is a mate redefiner, which may be why
you enjoy exuberant sex in exotic places.

18.  Keep Your Voice Down When You Fight.  It Might Shock Both of You Into Being More
Reasonable.

Related: 4 Easy Steps to
Resolve Any Fight
.

19.
Banish Boring, Part 1: Do Something Batshit as a Couple
= > Jet skiing?  Hang gliding?
Psychologist Arthur Aron, Ph.D., and his colleagues at Stony Brook
University and UC Berkeley have found that couples who engage in a novel
activity together report much more marital satisfaction than couples who have
merely “pleasant” date nights (that is, like the same old
routine).

Okay, it doesn’t have to be skydiving, says Aron; “it can be an art
class.”  The point is: Bust your butt.

20.
Banish Boring,
Part 2: Do Batshit Things with Another Couple = > If you go on a
double date and do something new that creates closeness among the four of you,
says Aron, you’ve just quadrupled the excitement level in the room.  That thrill is associated with your partner.

“And that initial sense of exhilaration that comes from
falling in love is reinvigorated,” he says.
Aron’s theory: You’re happiest when your mate expands your sense of who
you are.  So perhaps some time travel is
in order.

Remember when you two were young and the possibilities seemed
limitless?  Reengage with friends from
that time, preferably ones who’ve been sweating with together (see #8).  Then push new boundaries as a group.

21. Ask:
How Much Do I Hate My Wife?
= > Be brutally honest.
Oh, you love her?  Next question: Then?  Why, am I so
mean to her sometimes?

David Schnarch, Ph.D., coined the term “normal marital
sadism” to describe the many ways we annoy our spouses on purpose.

Stop the purposeful
hurts, says Schnarch, and she’ll “like you, maybe she will want to have sex with you, and wish
you well.”  Leave the snark and sadism
behind, and you’re onto something like the title of Schnarch’s landmark book:
Passionate Marriage.

Related: The
Unbelievably Easy Way to Make Her 14 Percent Hornier
.

22. Buy
a Lamp Together (It’s Worth It)
= > Beloved, jointly acquired items are called “couple
markers.”  They’re a barometer of your
bond.  They help replace “yours” and
“mine” with “ours.”

23. Your
Sacrifices Are Your Gift, Not Her Debt
= > It’s called having a “communal relationship” with your
wife.  In such a marriage, sacrifices (yours and hers) are the
gifts that keep on giving.  Do something
nice.  Don’t keep score.  Both of
you benefit.

24. You
Know Her/Him — Push the Buttons That Please Her/Him
= > In her terrific little book Marriage Rules, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., mentions urging a
client to come up with three things to do that he knew his wife would
appreciate.  You can do the same.  Get started, smart guy.

25.
Practical Stuff Can Wait.  Attend to Her
Now.
= > Don’t let the urgent (Bills!  The office!  The lawn!  The Clubs!) get in the
way of the important (steps 1 through 24
above).

Remember: Your financial, emotional, and physical health depends on
a close collaboration with your wife.
Make it a priority, or else.  Now,
care to revise your to-do list?

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                                                            Book
= >
Marriage Rules

How to Prepare for Your First Date After Divorce

Here’s how to prepare for that all-important first date after divorce: from 7 tips for successful flirting
to 16 first-date Dos and Don’ts.  By Diana Shepherd Updated: November
19, 2018

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Are you past the “walking wounded” stage of divorce recovery?  Have those intense feelings of anger, hatred, or grief died down to background
noise?  Have you stopped talking about
how awful your ex-spouse
is to whoever is unlucky enough to sit beside you on a bus/train/plane?  And have you spent some time discovering who
you are after your divorce – and what your must-haves and deal-breakers would be in
your next relationship?

If so, it might be time to test the waters in the dating pool.  Here’s how to prepare for that all-important
first date after divorce: from successful flirting to first date Dos and Don’ts.

           The First Step is to Find Someone Worth
Dating

Now that you’re emotionally
ready
to meet your soulmate, you have to find
him/her.  Here’s a hint: he/she probably isn’t sitting on your sofa
waiting to watch “Westworld” with you.
So, you’re going to have to leave your comfort zone and put yourself out
there.  This doesn’t mean you have to start
hanging out at singles bars or attending political rallies (unless you like these sorts of activities).  Slowly begin to
do things you like that will also get you out of the house and meeting new
people.  Start taking art, dance, even square
dancing, cooking, stand-up comedy, or car-repair lessons; take up tennis, golf,
rollerblading, or skiing; go to parties – even if you don’t feel like it;
volunteer for an animal rescue organization, traveler’s aid, or at your local
hospital.  Be a volunteer with your local
Lions Club and you
will feel much better about yourself.  Be
only a volunteer – if later you wish to join this local Lions Club, it is up to you, later.  You’ll be meeting other people who share your
interests, which gives you an easy opener when striking up a conversation.  Just maybe YOUR next lifelong mate.  This Web Blog is sponsored by a Lions Club.

And when that special someone shows up in your life, try to
flirt instead of running screaming for the hills.

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How to Flirt on Your First Date After Divorce

Whole books have been written on this topic.  My best advice is to lead with your strong
points, even during an initial exchange.
For instance, if you aren’t funny (you know who you
are!), don’t try to tell jokes.
Still, try to keep things light at first: small talk actually puts
people at their ease and can open the door to deeper conversations.

Take a cue from your surroundings: if you’re standing in a
long checkout line, try: “I always seem to choose the line where someone is
using 185 coupons; we’re going to be here for a while!” or “Doesn’t the cashier look like
Jennifer Lawrence?” or even “Gosh, it’s hot/cold out today!”  After a
couple of non-threatening exchanges about nothing important, you can try to
find some common ground to create a bond between you and the dreamboat in line
right behind you.  For instance, you
could say, “I’m a bit stiff today: I went rollerblading yesterday for the first
time.  Do you rollerblade?”  If the answer is yes, you can talk about
rollerblading for a while: where you go, the equipment you use, what you like
about it.  If they say no but is still looking
at you in a friendly way, you could try offering a genuine compliment: “That
suit/dress/color looks great on you.”
They may respond by telling you where they got it, then you can ask a question or make a (positive) comment about the store.

If you are genuinely funny (ask
your friends to be honest with you about this),
you could opt for an amusing or offbeat opening line.

Body language is an important part of flirting.  This includes smiling (but don’t try not to mimic the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland) and standing
just a little bit closer than you normally would with a stranger.  Warning: there’s a fine
line between showing interest and pushing someone into a flight-or-fight
response: don’t stand nose-to-nose,
and don’t back the person into a
wall or corner.  This is just plain
creepy and will guarantee that your next marriage mate (victim) will never want
to set eyes on you again.

Try mirroring the person’s body language: if she/he leans
forward, you lean forward; if he/she crosses his/her left leg, you cross your
right leg.  Again, don’t overdo this: your aim
is not to
mimic the person, but to put him/her at ease.

Here are a few more tips to set you on the path to
successful flirting:

  1. Always try to look your best before engaging in flirting.
    If your hair is a disaster, you
    havent brushed your teeth, or your mascara has run half-way down your
    face, you’re
    not going to exude the cool self-confidence a successful flirt
    requires.  If you are in dirty work
    clothes – tell them,
    you are on a work break or have just gotten off work.

             –
–  ————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~ ^ > ————–  –  –

  • Offer a genuine compliment.
    This could be physical – “You
    have such beautiful eyes” – or
    not – “You laugh easily.
    That’s a trait I really admire.”

  • If you’re good at it, tell jokes (make sure theyre neither dirty nor
    disparaging
    , though).

  • Never brag not even if you’ve just won the
    Nobel Prize or the Oscar for Best Picture.
    Nothing demonstrates insecurity better than bragging – and it’s
    extremely irritating to be on the receiving end of a bragger in full slate.

  • Be fearless.  The worst that can happen if you approach that gorgeous creature is that
    he/she will reject you.  Contrary to what
    you may feel at the time, this will
    not kill you.  The best is that you
    may succeed in captivating the most interesting person in the room. 
    Isnt that worth a bit of bruised ego?

  • Be interesting.  To charm an interesting person, you need to be interesting.  So, disconnect the TV and get out there.

Push your physical and
emotional boundaries: whether that means trying skydiving or maybe only soft
yoga.  Also, if reading some great books
will help to wake up those sleepy brain cells.

  • Get help.  Ask a friend who’s a great flirt to give you tips and coaching on
    everything from body language to ice-breakers to how to tell a joke.

             –
–  ————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~ ^ > ————–  –  –

The First Date After Divorce

Okay: so, one of you has gotten up the nerve to ask the
other on a date.  Now what?

Again, start with small talk.  I don’t care how much you hate it: a first date is always somewhat nerve-racking, and
small talk puts people at ease, giving them a chance to regain their
balance.  Usually, small talk lasts no longer than about
five minutes; some people require more time, and some require less in order to
relax.

Your next challenge is to find a topic of mutual interest
to discuss.  This may take a couple of
attempts, so don’t be discouraged if your first conversational arrow misses
the mark.  Try hobbies, sports (spectator and participatory), each other, movies, books, and music.
If you are genuinely funny (ask your
friends to be honest with you about this), you
could opt for an amusing or offbeat question.
Avoid politics, religion, and your ex-spouse.

Of course, you’re not going to lie about the fact that you’re separated or divorced – just don’t give them a two-hour monologue about the breakdown of your
relationship.

This is enough information for a first date: “I’ve been divorced for about two
years now.  It was a friendly divorce, and I wish my ex all the best.”  This lets your date know that you’re
over your last
relationship
and that they won’t find themselves in the
middle of a psychodrama involving you and your ex
if they get into a relationship with you.

Warning: if your date
starts spewing hate and vitriol when discussing his/her ex, run for the hills!
Do not get involved with this person – unless you’re interested in years of misery and possibly
even danger if
these two are still locked in a
toxic, hatefilled post-divorce relationship.

So, after you’ve bonded a little over your shared fondness
for Drake, it’s time to start offering and asking for a little personal
information.

Since a woman will normally have a few safety concerns
about spending time with a man she doesn’t really know, a man should let her know he’s “safe” by
offering some information about where he works, goes to church, works out,
likes to go with his friends for a beer after work, etc.  This demonstrates that you a) have a life of
your own, and b) are a fairly normal guy with no big secrets (like
you’re actually married with three kids or that you’re currently out on parole).

Don’t interrupt (unless to warn of imminent physical danger: “Look out for that
runaway piano!” or “Look out for that Mac truck!), lecture, or interrogate your date.
Ask questions designed to elicit more than
one-word answers, but don’t make your date feel as though you’re interviewing him/her
for the position of “next spouse.”

Paying a genuine compliment is always a good idea.  “You have a lovely smile,” “I love dancing
with you,” or “You look great in that dress” or “suit” are all good examples.  Being overtly sexual is not a good idea on the
first date, so refrain from commenting on breasts, butts, etc. even if you find
them exceptionally nice.  By the way, if
someone compliments you, the correct response is: “Thank you!  It’s so kind of you to say/notice.”  Don’t deflect it – “I hate my teeth,” “What – this old rag?” or “I have two left
feet” are examples of ways not to respond to a
compliment.  Even if receiving praise
makes you feel shy or awkward, deflecting it will make your date feel stupid,
hurt, or annoyed.

3 Questions to Ask on Your
First Date After Divorce

The four Harvard mathematicians who built the OKCupid dating website suggest asking the following three questions on your first date to determine whether you are truly compatible with
someone:

  1. Do you like scary movies?
    Or Westerns or which ones.

  • Have you ever traveled around another country alone?

  • Would you like to ditch it all and go live on a sailboat?

They claim that if someone answers all three questions the same way you do, you’re a perfect match for each
other!  If you decide to try online
dating, these math whizzes have some advice when it comes to posting your
profile photo: “The best pose for men is ‘mysterious and sexy,’ looking off
camera and not smiling, whereas women who hold the camera above their head and look
coy and flirty receive more hits.”

16 First Date Dos and Don’ts

  1. Do show up on time; tardiness shows a
    disregard for your date
    .

  • Do observe rules of proper hygiene: dirty hair, un-brushed teeth, and lingering B. O. are turnoffs and very disrespectful.

  • Do make your date laugh (hopefully with you rather than at you).  Tasteful jokes and comments only, please: no racist, no sexist, or no dirty jokes.

  • Do
    pay him/her genuine compliments.

  • Do listen at least as much as you talk; make an effort without
    dominating the conversation
    .

  • Do
    make lots of eye contact.

  • Do
    mirror your date’s body language.

  • Don’t talk about how you’re doing on other dating websites.

  • Don’t answer your phone or send text
    messages
    (aside from genuine emergency).

  1.  Don’t dress inappropriately.  If you’re not sure, ask – it’s less
    embarrassing
    than showing up wearing jeans when your date is formally
    attired
    .

  1.  Don’t ramble on about your ex’s failings.

  1.  Don’t interrogate your date.  The object is to have fun while getting to know each other – not to interview for the
    position of
    my next spouse.”

  1.  Don’t brag or lecture.

  1.  Don’t fight about who picks
    up the check.

  1.  Don’t lead with your tongue
    if you’re trying to initiate a good-night kiss.

  1.  Don’t sleep with someone on your first date.  (This would not send a very good
    message to the other one.)


The End of the Evening.

It seems ridiculous, but the issue of who picks up the
check can turn a great first date into a minor nightmare.  We all come to this with different
assumptions: some people feel the person who asked for the date should pay;
some people feel the man should always pay; some people feel it should be
Dutch-treat.

Unfortunately, if your assumptions are different from your
date’s, it can generate a huge misunderstanding about your cheapness /
chauvinism / outdated values / ego – whatever you make the act of paying mean.

The best way to avoid this kind of incident is to establish
right off the bat what your expectations are.
When making the date, say: “I’d love to treat you to dinner.  How about Luigi’s on Friday night?”  If this advice comes too late for you,
initiate a short discussion about it during the date.  You can make it impersonal by talking about a
“friend’s” experience: “My friend Sara had a strange experience last week.  She was out on a date, and when she offered to
pay half, her date became very angry with her: he accused her of thinking he
was cheap, or unable to pay.  She was
just trying to be polite.

It’s so confusing these days… Do you think she was wrong to offer?”  You’ll bond a little on the issue of how
confusing modern etiquette is, and you’ll find out what your date thinks about
who should pay.

If your date expresses a strong opinion, try to respect it.

If he wants to pay, but she feels a little uncomfortable
about it (maybe she makes more money than
him, or maybe her ex-spouse was so cheap she simply isn’t used to being treated),
she could say: “Thank you – that’s very kind.
I’ll treat you the next time.” 
Do not fight with your date or try
to snatch the check-out of his/her hands.
  Be gracious, and
make sure you’re clear on what the deal is for the next date before you go out.

The next thorny issue: to kiss or not to kiss?

Well, that depends a bit on how the date has gone.  If you’re not interested in repeating the experience, say, “Thank you
for the evening,” and shake hands.  Note: do not say, “I’ll call you”
if you have no intention of doing so.  Just
thank the person and walk away.  If it
has gone really well, look for clues that your date wants to kiss you.  These include:

  • Lingering outside your car or
    front door.

  • Touching your face.

  • Taking both your hands and
    gazing into your eyes.

  • Leaning towards you and
    gazing deeply into your eyes.

  • Saying “I’d like to kiss you
    – is that OK?”

If your date exhibits any of these behaviors, you can offer
a kiss on the cheek, or a light kiss on the lips.  No tongues, and no hip-grinding!  If
your date doesn’t pull away after the kiss, and you’re equally smitten, you
can offer another, slightly deeper kiss.

Regarding sex on the first date: unless you’re
looking for a one-night stand, you probably shouldn’t do it.  Aside from
any other concerns, there are diseases you can catch that will really kill you – and despite what
some people still think, you can’t tell whether or not someone is safe by looking at them.  Money and social standing are
not an indicator that they’re truly disease-free, either.

When you sleep with someone, you’re also sleeping with all
his/her as all previous sexual past partners – that makes a lot of people in bed with
you!  You
cannot sleep with someone until you’ve had a frank talk with
him/her about sex.  If you’re too embarrassed to discuss safe sex, you’re not ready to have it.

             –  –
————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~
^ > ————–  –  –

How do you know if a man is in love with you?

11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You

He loves me … he loves me not … if only
finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower.  So, what makes it so hard to determine if a
man
truly loves you?

A lot of us
have ideas about what
love should be, what it
should look like, and how it should feel.
A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (
we can thank romantic comedies for that).  Because of that, some
of us might
not recognize the real thing when it comes our way.  Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of
love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of
being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to
either giving love or being able to receive it.

The point is,
love is a tricky thing.  A guy can say he
loves you and
not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it.

Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us
keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from
getting hurt.  As the saying goes, before
you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you.  The trouble with this is that when you get
caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can
no longer be present in the
relationship.  Instead of connecting, you
are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce
fears and insecurities that ultimately block you
from getting the love you want.

So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you?

If he shows these 11 signs,
then it’s pretty safe to say he is.

Take The Quiz: Does He
Really Love You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Really Love YouQuiz right now and find out if he Really loves you…

Does
he talk about the future?  (
Question
1 of 15
)

  1. The way he looks at you.

He looks at you like you’re a unicorn, like he can’t believe you
exist.  He may even come right out and
tell you, “I can’t believe someone like you exists.”  It isn’t a look of lust and desire.
Instead, it’s marked by a certain awe, serenity, and inner calm.  It’s a look reserved only for you.  It’s not only the way he looks at you; it’s the frequency.  He can’t stop looking at you; whether you’re together or you are across
the room from each other, his gaze will always be oriented toward you.

             –  –
————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~
^ > ————–  –  –

  • He wants to give to you.

Real love is about giving,
not taking. This is why parents typically
love their children more than their children love them.  You would think it would be the
opposite.  From birth through our teenage
years (and sometimes beyond!) kids take and parents give.  Every parent will tell you that you never
know real love until you have a child, and that’s because this kind of love is
all about giving.

When you love someone, you want to give that person
everything you have.  This isn’t about material
possessions.

You want to give by being the best you can, you want to
make them happy, to enhance their life, you want to do things for them that
will make them happy.

Love isnt merely a
feeling; it’s a verb and it comes across in actions.  The biggest action that indicates a man loves
you is when he gives you all he can.

5. He really
sees you.

He notices things about you that others dont (maybe he
even sees things that you
dont!)  He
notices how you interact with others, how people feel in your presence, how
your mind works, how you process emotions, how you express yourself.  He pays attention to all the little details
and he
remembers them.  He appreciates the full
scope of who you are, the good and the
bad.

He doesn’t just love you, he
loves things
about you.  Really loving people doesn’t mean you love the
way they make you feel (although many people
believe that’s what love is), it’s about
loving them as they are at their core.

This sort of
love has nothing to do with how good that person makes you feel about
yourself.  That’s not to say someone you
love can’t or won’t make you feel good
about yourself, but you can’t truly love people only because they make you feel good.  That’s a very selfish kind of love, a love
that feeds your need to feel good in the moment, not a life-changing, deep love.

When someone
really sees you, he sees not just everything you are but everything you want to be,
and he’ll let you know when you’re falling short.  The catch?
This may actually make you feel bad about yourself.
If you’re being a jerk to strangers, treating a friend poorly, or not living up to your
obligations somehow, someone who loves you will let you know.  It may not
feel good, but it’s a sign that he really
sees you, all of you, and cares about you.

(I go into greater
depth on this in my article on
what no one tells you about being in a good relationship.)

6. Your happiness is as important to him as his own.

Your happiness may be even more important!  When you love someone, really love someone,
their happiness is your happiness.  This
is especially true for men who need to feel like they can make a woman
happy.  If you tell him that something
makes you unhappy and he keeps doing it, this is not a sign that he’s in love with
you.  A man who loves you will avoid
doing things that make you unhappy and will learn the things will make you
happy, and he’ll make an effort to do those things.

7. He misses
you when you’re apart.

Men typically
fall in love in a woman’s absence, not her presence.  A
man can shower you with all the love in the world while he’s with you, because
it’s nice to be with someone else and to connect and be affectionate, but what
is he like when he’s not with you?  Does he
miss you?  Does he make an effort to
reach out?

Or does he disappear for days on end and then tell you he’s sorry, he’s just
been “super swamped?”

When you love
someone, you yearn for their presence and miss them when they’re gone.  It doesn’t mean you are constantly thinking about them every waking
minute, because that would be an
unhealthy obsession, not love, but the
thought of them always lingers in the background.  Things remind you of them, something happens
and you want to tell them, you just feel a constant connection even when you’re
apart.  He’ll be in touch, he’ll send you
funny things he finds online or links to articles he thinks you’d like, or
he’ll tell you about something funny that happened to him that he thought you’d
appreciate.

             –  –
————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~
^ > ————–  –  –

8. He keeps you in the loop.

I remember very early in
my relationship with my husband I knew he really cared about me because he
would always keep me in the loop, even when it wasn’t necessary.  For
instance, before our third date I texted him to confirm the time and he didn’t respond for about 45
minutes and when he did he apologized for the delay and said he was out with
friends and not checking his phone.

I don’t consider 45 minutes to be that significant of a time lag
and didn’t need the
explanation, but it made me feel cared for and it showed me that he considered
me someone important and didn’t want me to think that something else was more important.
He would do considerate things like that
constantly, and that’s how I knew he loved me long before he even said it.

When a guy loves you, he won’t ever leave you hanging.
He’ll keep you informed about what he’s up to, not because he has to,
but because he wants to.

9. He’s there for you even when it’s inconvenient.

Being in love is easy when everything is going great and
it’s all smooth sailing, but what happens when you hit a rough patch, or when
you need him?  How does he respond when
there is a problem, when he needs to be there for you even if there are other
things he would rather be doing?

Love is other-focused; it’s not about one’s own
needs and desires, it’s about factoring in someone else.

When a man loves you, nothing will be more important than
being there for you when you need him.
It may not always be his ideal scenario, but he’ll step up and be
there.

10. He doesn’t give up.

He puts his all into the relationship and really commits
to making it work.  When you love
someone, you don’t quit without a fight.

I remember in the beginning of my relationship with my
husband, a lot of my deep-seated relationship fears started bubbling to the surface.  I had been blindsided by breakups in the
past; I’d had men tell me they loved me and then they left me.  It’s hard to just forget such things and wipe
the slate clean.  Even though this
relationship was totally different from anything else I’d ever experienced,
those fears
lingered.  I remember one conversation
where I brought this up to him, and he told me that if this relationship didn’t last, it would be a
mutual parting and we would both see it coming.
He wasn’t
going to just leave; he was going to put in everything he had.  He did and so did I, and fortunately it all
worked out!

If a man says he loves you but doesnt want to try anymore, or gives up because he thinks it’s too hard, then
it probably
wasnt real
love.  You
dont give up on love unless you have put everything
you have into making it work, and it was just impossible (
and this is something that both people will
usually be able to clearly recognize
).

There are obviously times where someone can truly love you, but
because you’re just not right for each other, or maybe because you aren’t willing to put in
the necessary effort, that he will walk away even though he loves you, but only
after giving it his all.

11. You don’t worry how he feels — you just know.

Similar to what
I said in my article about
how to know if a guy likes you, when a guy
love you, you just know.  It’s obvious to
you and to everyone around you.  You’ll
have a feeling of peace and calm and just knowing.

When someone truly loves you, his behavior and way of being with you won’t arouse feelings of insecurity/fear/anxiety/worry in you (as long as you yourself are emotionally healthy.  If you’re prone to having those feelings no matter what, then
they are probably generated within you).

Check in with yourself and see where it’s coming
from.  Usually, when we feel uneasy, like
the rug is going to be pulled out from under us, it’s because the relationship isn’t standing on a stable
ground because the guy isn’t sure of how he feels.
When someone loves you, he shows it and you just know it, even before he
says it.

I hope after
reading this article you’re totally clear on the signs a man is in love with
you.

But before you
go, I need to tell you that there’s a crucial period in your relationship that
will determine if you and he end up together, or if the relationship falls
apart.  At some point, he will start to
back off.  He may lose interest, he may
pull away, he may suddenly need space.
Do you know how to handle it when he does this?

If not, you will probably
make one of the major mistakes that most women make that can irreparably
destroy your relationship.  Read this now
so you don’t risk losing him
forever:
If He’s Pulling
Away
,
Do
This…

The next
problem you may run into is when he gets to the point where he asks himself: Is
this the woman I want to commit to for the long-term?

The fate of
your relationship lies in the answer to that question.  Do you know how
men decide if a woman is girlfriend, or even wife, material?

The type of
woman that a man wants to commit himself to?

If not you need to read
this next:
The #1 Things Men
Desire in a Woman

In summary…

These Are the Biggest Signs He’s In Love With You:

  1. The way he looks at you.
  2. He wants to give to you.
  3. He treats you like a
    priority.
  4. He wants to immerse himself
    in your life.
  5. He really sees you.
  6. Your happiness is as
    important to him as his own.
  7. He misses you when you’re
    apart.
  8. He keeps you in the loop.
  9. He’s there for you even
    when it’s inconvenient.
  10. He doesnt give up.
  11. You dont worry how he feels — you
    just know.

             –  –
————– < ^ ~ ,      , ~
^ > ————–  –  –

Regarding sex on the first date: unless?

Sex And Intimacy After Divorce: Are You Ready? = > JUNE 26, 2018

You
deserve to love and live after
divorce.  You
deserve
sex and intimacy after divorce!

Once those divorce papers are signed or perhaps after the initial
separation between you and your ex, the idea of sex and intimacy after divorce can make someone feel one or two ways:

Some people run right out
for the first warm body
upon divorce and others run
away from the idea of sex.  But even the
most eager of “beavers” so to speak encounter a lot of the same emotions that
the timidest of wallflowers do when they venture into sex after divorce like:

Guilt: “Am I really
allowed to do it with another person?”

Excitement: “Someone new is
kind of sexy —
hey, actually make that VERY sexy!”

Anxiety: “Will she think
I’m flabby?”  “I’m not sure he likes what
I’m doing.  Does he see my thighs?”

Weirdness: “This is
strange.”

No matter what side of the emotional
fence you’re sitting on, here are some pointers for navigating the roads of sex and
intimacy again after divorce.

Are you ready?

Yellow Light Caution:

Just Because
You Can,
Doesnt Mean You Should.

Not to call out men specifically,
but some men dive into sex with multiple partners after divorce simply because
they can.  This isn’t to say that women don’t do this as well, but
men are more apt to because it’s socially acceptable for guys and hey, they’re
hunters with that evolutionary need I suppose.  Whether you’re a lascivious man or woman, dial
down the casual sex a bit if it starts to get out of hand.

Why?

It’s not about judgment.  You
have the right to enjoy casual safe sex with whomever you want as often as you want, but it’s not uncommon for
people to fill post-divorce loneliness with a lot of sex after divorce.  Rather than
trying to fill up the loneliness that might be there or fear of starting over,
dial back and decide if you’re going a bit
too crazy sexually.

If you feel comfortable with an active sex life and casual sex then by all means, enjoy!  But be sure you’re not trying to fill an
empty hole inside of yourself that would be better spent getting to know who
you are as a person, post-divorce.

On the flip side: if you’re terrified about the idea of
hopping into bed with someone after divorce, don’t feel pressured to do so simply because you can now
legally and morally now sleep with another person.  Go at your own pace.

If You Feel Weird
After Your First Post-Divorce Romp

You had sex with someone and enjoyed it yet a few days later or hours
later even, you feel strange.  It’s as if
you willingly walked into a classroom nude and enjoyed it, only to wonder, what
Did I Just Do?

It’s normal to feel a bit odd after getting naked with a
new person after divorce.  Don’t worry: this won’t last forever.

If You Feel Weird
During Your First Post-Divorce Romp

If you start to feel guilty or awkward while being
intimate with another person after divorce, its okay to slow it down, stop it, or decide
after, to take a break for a while from that kind of intimacy.

Getting a divorce is a bit like breaking yourself down and rebuilding
yourself back up
.  You may feel
vulnerable as the clothes come off and the naughty activities move forward
simply because you’re starting over again and it can be scary.

Take it Slow If You
Feel The Need

Foreplay goes a long way.  The engine needs to warm up.  Why not tell your new partner you want to take it slow and enjoy
all the different various “stages” of intimacy like making out, mutual
masturbation, oral sex, etc., without going straight in for intercourse first.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with a new person.  It’s important and will earn respect from your
bedroom partners whether they’re serious long-term potential or casual bed
buddies.

Green Light: Go!

Many = > Turn those fantasies into realities.

This is the time to try all the sexual things you couldn’t with your ex.  Perhaps you were secretly into S&M or role
play yet your partner couldn’t be bothered.  Seize
the opportunity to find a partner who’s a willing player and enjoy it, even if
the two of you don’t talk the next day.

At some point, you may end up checking off every fantasy
you’ve ever had and may decide it’s time to settle down, so enjoy this playtime
while you’re open to it.

Have a Brief Fling

Have a short
fling
with someone who thinks you’re amazing and sexy.  There’s nothing like a little fling to boost
the confidence of a man or woman after divorce.  Be sure of
course that this person will be attentive and loving.

Ladies, give that Don Juan a chance for a bit, but expect
he will leave shortly after.  Simply
enjoy him for the ego boost he’ll give you.

Men, that black widow spider isn’t right for long-term
romance but she will devour you the right way so you get some of your game back
again!

Sexual Self-Knowledge Is a Good Thing

Explore what you like through masturbation, sex toys (especially for the
ladies!) or pornography if you’re inclined.

You may have been going through the “sex routine” with your ex for so long that you’ve
forgotten what you like or may even discover things you’d never thought about
before.  Get to know yourself!

Red Light: Don’t Even Think of It!

Don’t Devalue Yourself

I have seen many a man or woman settle with a bad catch after divorce simply to avoid
being alone.  Don’t do it!

Worse, I have seen divorced people settle for
being someone’s “booty call” when what they really wanted was a committed
relationship.  Value yourself and your
intimate partners will as well.

Let Go Of The Shame

Don’t feel bad for craving
intimacy and sex
after divorce.
It’s a normal feeling to want to get out
there.  And if you’re too nervous to consider
the prospect of sex, don’t let others get to you.  Everyone navigates life after divorce differently and at
his or her own pace.

Most importantly, if you do find yourself between the
sheets with someone, do not feel guilty!  You
deserve to love and live after divorce.  You’re not tied to your ex anymore.  Go out and get what you’re after!  Life is waiting for you!

About
the Author

My name is Fredricka but my friends and family call me
Freddie.  I’m German born but, American
bred.  My family immigrated to America
when I was 10 and we settled in Boston.  At
21 I married my college sweetheart and began what I thought would be my
“happily ever after.”  He was in medical
school and I worked full-time as a Process Engineer at a local Boston firm.  After 7 years of marriage, when I was 8 months
pregnant, my husband met and fell in love with a Nurse where he was doing his residency.  And that is when life changed on a dime.

I survived the loss of my marriage, I’ve healed from the infidelity and I’m now in
the process of carving out a new life path for myself and my daughter.

I’m now attending BYU, working on my Master’s in clinical
psychology.  My divorce and the adversity
that caused helped me find a new passion.  It’s my hope to one day save marriages via
clinic work with families in trouble.

My daughter is now 2-years-old and the light of my life.  When I’m not at school, she takes up most of my time.  Single parenting isn’t easy but, she and I
have a strong bond that I don’t think would be there if not for the divorce.  I guess you
could say, weathering that storm together helped us stick like glue.  I thought my life was over when he left.  Now I know, it was just beginning.

                               –  –
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^ > ————–  –  –

If you like these ideas and
tips – please tell a few others.

                                    We will add in more here.


–  –  ————– < ^ ~ ,        , ~ ^ > ————–  –  –

If you like these ideas and
tips – please tell a few others.

Join up with a
volunteer non-profit program.

Volunteering
is a great way to meet new people, get some exercise, and involve yourself in a
positive
project that can lift your spirit.  It also comes
without a cost (or very little) to you and can provide a lot of entertainment and a
fulfilling day when you’re in the right mindset.

I’ve come to spend more and more of my time volunteering, serving on various committees and people helping groups
in the community.  I am on a few local
area towns and Church committees.  It is
hands-down the best thing I have ever done.
Be a volunteer with your local Lions Club or other Non
Profit Org. and you will feel much better about yourself.  Be only a volunteer – for a time – if later
you wish, you may later to join this local Lions Club it is later and it is up to you.  You’ll be meeting other people who share your
interests, which gives you an easy opener when striking up a conversation.  Meet many new people and also maybe meet the
next Him or Her for YOUR life.  This Web
Blog is sponsored by a Lions
Club.


–  –  ————– < ^ ~ ,        , ~ ^ > ————–  –  –

                                                            A
new Blog:   
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MSTP > 1 Storytelling
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MSTP > 2 Marriage
Again With Kids (Pending soon)

MSTP > 4 Know
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MSTP > 5 WHY
GO TO CHURCH (Pending soon)

MSTP > 6 Marriage
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MSTP > 7 Secrets
(Pending soon)

MSTP > 8 Modern
Miracles (Pending soon)

MSTP > 9
Mentors – Self-Esteem – Beliefs (Pending soon)

MSTP > 10 Signs
He loves YOU (Pending soon)

MSTP > 11
MONEY MANAGEMENT (Pending soon)

MSTP > 12 Second
Marriage Baggage (Pending soon)

MSTP > 13 Why
Go To Church (Pending soon)

MSTP >
Crew will be expanding with more of these PDF downloadable
parts.

MSTP > 14 Adult
(Pending soon)

MSTP >
Adult (Crew will be expanding with more of these PDF downloadable
parts.)

MSTP > Extra 01= Electric
Car (Pending soon)

MSTP > Adult 1 Adult
(Pending soon)

MSTP > Christian View 1 (Crew will be expanding with more of these PDF downloadable parts.)

Note:
Yes.  Both single people and married
people have review (Pre – viewed) this “BLOG” and its parts so far.  As a summary of the parts and up-coming part
drafts; most people are telling us that this information is also needed and
wanted for them and many people found this as new information they didn’t even
know about.

Subscription:
First 30 days for this Blog is “FREE”.  Then one may have a Subscription as over age
18 Adult (including the open part) or the
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